In wealth counselling, my role is to create a safe space for my clients.
The truth is safe spaces are essential no matter what type of therapy is taking place.
In recent years, we’ve also seen the concept of “safe spaces” enter into the mainstream. And with some controversy it must be said.
Let’s take a look at what a “safe space” truly means and why it’s important.
What is a “safe space”?
Us humans are constantly in a creation mode. Whether we’re truly aware of that fact or not!
Now this characteristic gives rise to all sorts of wonderful things.
Music which stirs the soul.
Paintings that touch on elemental truths.
Conversations over a coffee with a friend that put the world to rights.
From grand things to the more ordinary, we are creatures whose very default setting is to create.
And this is mostly a wonderful aspect of the human experience.
However, we also create environments that don’t always serve us best.
One of these areas is in our culture.
The moment more than two humans congregate we begin to create a culture.
And you can be part of more than one culture.
In fact, we all are.
Now, I’m not speaking exclusively about religious background or country of origin here.
Of course these factors will contribute to the cultures you find yourself a part of, but so too will class structures, working environments (a City bank will have a different culture to a primary school, for example and many other elements).
We absorb messages from the cultures we find ourselves in.
Martha Beck is a Harvard-trained sociologist, coach and author. She writes extensively on how our cultures don’t always promote the best environments for our growth.
For example, let’s say you find yourself as part of a high-achieving group of entrepreneurs growing 7 figure businesses.
This could be exhilarating.
You could be doing work you see making a genuine impact in the world.
You love creating jobs for others.
You thrive on being more visible via social media and marketing activities to raise your profile.
In the scenarios I’ve described above, you could find yourself receiving a lot of positive reinforcement for all of these things.
However, you might not find yourself with the opportunities you may sometimes require to share that sometimes you doubt yourself or whether you really want to build that 7 figure business. Or that sometimes you feel tired or disengaged or unhappy. Or that you are struggling to cope with the pressure.
This is where the cultures we create as humans come with a cost.
To stay within the culture, which means maintaining a sense of belonging, and even identity, we can betray ourselves. We deny our vulnerabilities and needs to keep the show on the road, so to speak.
We have all done this to ourselves at some point.
We know that if we don’t, judgement, and worse, will follow.
The many meanings we give to wealth
When it comes to wealth, our dominant culture sends us many messages.
And that’s to say nothing of the many other subcultures we can find ourselves in.
We’ve seen a particular positioning in the media over the last decade of the so-called “1%”.
Although this term initially was coined to describe billionaires, it’s come to be a short-hand for any individual who has some wealth. Even though they they may be many miles from the 1% bracket.
We also see many mixed messages in our culture when it comes to wealth.
From the time we are children, we are exhorted to work hard to grow wealth. From studying hard to get a good job, or becoming an entrepreneur, to buying items that signify our affluence, acquiring wealth is seen as a vital part of our lives.
However, as a culture, a particular disdain is reserved for people who have wealth.
And this disdain is often shared in vocal and harmful ways.
A big part of wealth counselling is creating a safe space
I’ve mentioned before how often my clients are willing to speak about anything else before discussing their financial status.
It’s for this reason that a safe space becomes so necessary in a wealth counselling session.
My clients know that there is zero judgement the minute they step into our time together.
This means that they have the space to take a deep breath, drop their shoulders and share how wealth may be impacting their lives in challenging ways.
A safe space is a space where a person can bring their whole selves. The good, the bad, and the ugly – to coin a phrase – all of it is welcomed in a safe space.
This means that the individual does not need to censor themselves.
Nor dilute parts of their experience.
Wealth counselling gives the individual space to experience the many contrasts life brings. Yes, having wealth opens up many opportunities in the world and it often adds complexities to our lives.
And within these safe spaces, we find ways to integrate wealth and the person to create the purpose, meaning and/or solutions my clients may be seeking.
Would you like to know more about wealth counselling?
Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. I’d welcome the opportunity to chat with you and answer your questions.