In my role as a wealth counsellor, I’ve worked with many wonderful people experiencing difficult challenges arising from wealth.
One of these is how high net worth individuals all get lumped together as part of the 1%.
This can seem a little incongruous at first.
I mean, 1% is a small number and by its nature speaks of only a tiny handful of people.
However, clients have often mentioned that they’ve experienced comments from others in their circles that have highlighted how they’re seen to be part of this segment. Even though they’re definitely not.
Wealth counselling looks at the human + wealth
As a psychotherapist, my focus is always on the person.
I love people, and I’m fascinated by them!
But personhood does not exist in isolation. For anyone.
Our careers, relationships, upbringing, societal messages, schooling, experiences, and a whole host of other things, all intertwine with our unique selves.
Financial matters are no exception.
And wealth is very much part of what people need to address.
the financial matters some people need to address.
Wealth counselling is a highly specific type of therapy that explores the intersection between the person and wealth.
The person is central. And together, in a trusting and nurturing environment, we work to untangle the challenges that the wealth in their life brings to the table.
The stigma high net worth individuals face
Needless to say, wealth is a highly charged topic.
One of the experiences I have had over and over again in my practice is the slow opening up of my wealth counselling clients.
Initially, they may be quite reticent and self-deprecating about setting up an appointment with me.
Then, many of them will express how the prevailing belief, from a society point of view, is that if you have money you shouldn’t have any problems.
This message often gets internalised, as so many of society’s messages do.
And, like many others, it can be harmful.
The belief that wealth takes away all your problems can lead to wealthy individuals isolating themselves when facing difficulties that really need to be addressed.
Taking the step to see a wealth counsellor is important. And it also often takes a lot of courage in the face of some serious stigma.
The real challenges that come with wealth
Sometimes it can be difficult to truly understand how wealth complicates things.
But in 2015, the Wall Street Journal, shone a light on the topic in an in-depth article. (It’s behind a paywall so I can’t hyperlink to it here.)
Some of the examples that the reporter of the article highlighted included:
- A young tech entrepreneur who had made a spectacularly successful exit from his startup. After the celebrations abated, this founder discovered that his peers were avoiding him. This was probably not done out of malice, but the incredible windfall that this individual had received completely upended the equilibrium in the friendship and social circles he moved in. They were still on “ordinary” salaries while he was a multi-millionaire. Social isolation set in and the young man experienced a serious depression.
- Two parents who had grown up in working class families, and had gone to build careers where they earned well. (An example of high net worth individuals who aren’t part of the 1%.) While they greatly appreciated and enjoyed the lifestyle and advantages they were able to provide for their children, they were also worried about losing the values they prized from their own upbringing.
- A wealthy mother of two grown up daughters, who was experiencing concern over the challenges she was seeing her daughters face in their marriages. The inherited wealth in the family was causing a complex dynamic with her son-in-laws. The family had sought wealth counselling to find healthier ways to interact with each other.
These are only three examples of the kinds of scenarios that will drive people to seek wealth counselling.
Each individual is unique and their circumstances will be unique too.
But these three examples above do highlight how wealth can be a tricky thing to navigate in an individual’s life.
Inheritance comes with its own baggage
Inheriting a lot of money can sound like a dream.
We all have an idea of a lifestyle we’d like to live and an inheritance could put that lifestyle within our reach.
But I have also seen the other side that comes with inheritance.
Firstly, the fact that there is an inheritance to be had in the first place means that there has been a death.
Grief can often accompany an inheritance. And bereavement itself is a complex set of emotions to navigate. I have experienced it myself on more than one occasion, and supported clients through it. Loss can take an extended period of time to recover from.
Secondly, inheriting a significant sum of money can also give rise to questions around self-worth, living up to expectations and making an independent mark in the world.
These are just some of the facets we look at in wealth counselling.
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If you feel wealth counselling could help you with some challenges you are facing, please contact me. Any conversation you have with me is completely confidential.
I work with clients across the globe via online methods. And I would welcome a no-obligation chat with you.