In 2015, the Wall Street Journal ran an article about wealth counselling.
Part of this article looked at different individuals who had sought out wealth counselling services. These included:
- A tech startup founder who had made a successful exit worth millions of dollars. While the windfall was exciting at first, this individual soon found himself completely misaligned with his peer group of long-term colleagues and friends who were in high paying jobs but didn’t have millions to their name. Discomfort crept into his friendship circle as neither him nor his friends understood how to navigate a thernew way of being together with such disparities in their income. For example, was he always meant to pick up the bill now? As a result he started finding himself experiencing a lot of social isolation.
- A couple who had both built high-flying and financially rewarding careers worrying about the values they were imparting to their children. Their success provided for many wonderful opportunities for their children, including an excellent education. The two parents also greatly enjoyed the comfortable lifestyle they were able to provide for their young family. However, they were the first generation in either of their respective families to raise children with the level of income at their disposal that they now had. The couple were feeling at a loss as to how to navigate wealth while still imparting the values that they held close from their own upbringing, such as chores being a way to instil contribution and responsibility.
- A mother of two adult daughters who was the matriarch of a wealthy family. She’d seen her two daughters struggle in their marriages due to their husbands not being able to provide anything for them that they didn’t already have via their family wealth. The mother had spoken of how she considered both of her sons-in-law as kind, decent men who had struggled with understanding their role as husbands.
These are just three examples of why people seek out wealth counselling services.
Our relationship with money isn’t always about money
In my experience as a psychotherapist, I have seen time and time again how our relationship with money isn’t always about money.
Of course, money is a big topic.
When we speak about a person’s relationship with money, there are so many factors to consider.
In a therapeutic setting, I often see how someone’s relationship with money can relate to their feelings of safety and self-worth. And these, in turn, are impacted by experiences we have in our families and close circle as we grow up.
So, just because an individual might be born with or come into a lot of money, the many different areas that money intersects with in our lives don’t disappear.
Money can even add to the complexity of these different intersections, as we see in the example of the tech founder. What does it mean for a group of friends when one person’s “pay cheque” is so out of sync with everyone else’s.
Wealth counsellors take care of the human side of money
Wealth counsellors do not advise on how to invest money.
What wealth counsellors do is look at the whole person in relation to their money.
Invariably, if a person has sought out wealth counselling services it means that there is some aspect of their wealth that they want to explore in a therapeutic setting. Therefore, money/wealth obviously is in the spotlight in a wealth counselling session.
But wealth counselors also look at the whole person.
We explore how the financial status someone might be experiencing in the case of selling a business for example, or have always had such as being part of a wealthy family, is affecting the rest of their life. This might involve family and close personal relationships, confidence, self-worth, exploring beliefs and values..
It’s a holistic approach where the whole person is present, which means that wealth becomes much easier to integrate.
In my own practice, I have had the privilege to build relationships with lovely people who have explored wealth counselling for a variety of reasons.
As we have moved through our sessions, my clients have found themselves able to better understand themselves in relation to their wealth.
They have found more confidence, an ability to build their self-worth on factors beyond financial means, and understand how to have connections with people even if they have a different wealth level to others.
This is what I mean by integrate.
In 2021, I have experienced an increase in inquiries for wealth counselling and a bigger part of my own practice is now dedicated to this work. Work I find immensely rewarding.
It doesn’t surprise me that Google Trends reports that searches for “wealth counselling” are up globally.
If you’d like to discuss your questions with a qualified wealth counsellor please contact me.
I’d be delighted to chat with you.