Society has a strange relationship with money.
From an early age, most of us will have had expectations set for us by our families and our teachers; we should work hard and strive to do well. The message is to accumulate money and build a good life with it.
But, as many people who have found wealth discover, there is a limit.
Sometimes wealth becomes a problem, rather than an enabler. Unexpectedly, people who become wealthy can also find their relationships strained and attitudes towards them change once they have money. This can give rise to feelings of confusion (among other things), as essentially, they are still the same person.
This perspective doesn’t align with the prevailing view of wealth as nothing but fabulous. This is where wealth counselling helps. It’s in this safe space that people experiencing challenges with their wealth can take a deep breath, and speak honestly about the highs and lows wealth comes with every day.
The whole person underneath it all
Underneath it all, in certain ways we are all the same. Chief among these similarities are the relationships and values that are meaningful to us which may have nothing to do with money.
Wealth counselling starts from that basis, it focuses on the person, working with them to understand how money can create very real issues. In no small way, wealth counselling is not about money.
For some, acknowledging that wealth can be a problem is an important, first step.
We are used to seeing money as something that makes life easier and better.
Therefore, it can feel shameful to view wealth as an issue when so many people do not have enough.
However by the time most wealth counselling clients seek my help, they have already admitted to themselves that their wealth causes them difficulties. Wealth comes with many layers. It’s not a one dimensional thing.
An entrepreneur who has successfully exited a business, for example, can suddenly find themselves with more money than their friends and loved ones might expect to see in their life. This means it can result in changed relationships as each side tries to navigate the new dynamics.
The whole gamut of human emotions can be present here too.
Friends and family members can be proud and admiring of their successBut They can also feel a tinge of resentment or jealousy towards them.
The newly wealthy entrepreneur could feel excited about the sale of their business, and a sense of anticipation about the possibilities their wealth opens up to them. Then, they could also feel guilty that they’re the one who has “hit the jackpot” to speak, instead of their loved ones.
Wealth counselling helps deal with all of this emotional complexity.
Old money can come with challenges too
Even someone born into wealth might find it difficult. Being wealthy might be familiar to them, but the nagging doubts around constantly second guessing whether people really like them or just their money can become wearing.
And sometimes that money comes with a set of circumstances that bring their own problems. For example, an inheritance may be accompanied by the grief of bereavement.
Or a lifetime gift may come with the eyes of the benefactor trained on the recipient to see how well they manage and grow their nest egg. Or, at least, that’s how it might feel.
My work with high net worth clients focuses on them as a whole person. Together, we look at who they are and what they want, or what they are missing. What works and what doesn’t work for them in their lives.
Then we explore the role that their wealth plays in this picture and how, as individuals, they can navigate that. It is through this lens that the purpose and meaning in life and healthy relationships that everyone yearns for becomes apparent.
Please contact me if you’d like to discuss how wealth counselling might support you as you navigate your own wealth journey.